Ever catch yourself thinking negatively and find it hard to stop? Thoughts like; this is the longest week ever and it’s only friggin’ Tuesday. Or, do I really have to go to work again? Or, wow that was dumb of me or X Y and Z.
Catching Yourself
The first step here is simply catching yourself in the middle of it. Realizing your thoughts aren’t benefiting you is hard to do. Even realizing they are happening in the first place! But, if you can identify it, then you can address it. Being mindful is the only way to do this. Ask yourself, “would I say this out loud?” or “would I say this about someone else?” If you wouldn’t say something like that to someone else, why would you say something so negative to yourself?!
Mindset Matters
You can drastically change your whole experience about something if you look at it from another perspective. Now, reframing a mindset doesn’t necessarily mean that everything needs to be sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s not. There are things in life that just suck, and that negative thought is the truth and it’s valid. Everything isn’t always so black and white.
Maybe you received some criticism from someone (well worded or not, at an appropriate time or not), you could take that comment and ruminate on it all day and ruin your day or week because of it. OR, you could take it with a grain of salt and try to find the positive in it. For example, getting an unwelcome comment about a messy house. Maybe it’s a mess at the moment because you’re remodeling and you’re so looking forward to the end result. Maybe you had an amazing time playing with your kids or dogs and you were too tired to clean up but you got an amazing nights sleep.
See what’s happening here? You could be like, “Pft, what do they know? I bet their house is a mess too. What a jerk for commenting on it.” but reframing the thought can make you realize how cool your life is.
Don’t Rain on My Parade
Don’t let others contribute to the negativity either. If you’re around someone and all they seem to do is complain; try taking a step away for a while. It’s far too easy to fall in step with their negativity and get dragged down with them. It’s true that everyone has their bad days and them having a one off vent session with you isn’t the end of the world. But, if it’s constant and you’re exhausted when you’re done talking with them; it’s time to examine that relationship. The people you want be around should lift you up, not drain you.
Now what?
Once you start catching those thoughts, label them so you can move on and start framing things in a more positive dialogue. You don’t have to write this down or anything; although it could be helpful to discover patterns or triggers that bring on your negativity. Once it has been recognized, you can acknowledge it and maybe sit with it for a short amount of time and then try to move on or find a s silver lining. This should get easier the more you do it.
What If It’s Actually bad?
If you find yourself in the position where the truth of the situation is that it’s not good and there is nothing you can do about it; now what? The unsatisfying answer of “radical acceptance”. Basically the concept of this is the suck is valid but it’s out of your control. You wouldn’t try to control the weather, you just accept that it’s raining on a day that was supposed to be sunny, put your hood up and head out the door. Even though this doesn’t sound like it would be helpful it surprisingly is. Realizing that there is nothing you can do about it puts it in perspective. It allows you to move on from ruminating about it and focus on something else that benefits you more.
You don’t realize how much you’re holding on to until you put it down.
Katrina Scott, Live Beautifully Podcast
https://livebeautifully.com/
Easier said than done, that’s for sure. What are some thoughts you frequently have that you could reframe?
Check out another article from us: https://themichaelamethod.com/sparking-lost-motivation/
